acting/ song info

Breaking up with Hook

Captain Hook, I’m so sorry but I have something to tell you. What we have is not working out. It’s not you, it’s me. There are too many things in the way of our hatred to keep it going strong. I want to spend more time with this girl named Wendy. She has all these great stories, and she takes care of me and the lost boys. She thinks us fighting gets in the way of me spending time with her. Plus, Tink and Wendy have been fighting a lot, I have to watch Tink at all times, she is always trying to mess with Wendy. So, I just don’t have any time to battle with you anymore. (Pause.) I know, I am going to miss fighting with you to. I hope we can still be enemies. We have had so many memories together. Remember that time I cut off your hand?! (Beat.) too soon? Ok, well this is getting pretty awkward so I’m just going to go. Bye Hook.

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The Bug

I thought about smashing it, but then I remembered how bad I felt when I accidentally/on-purpose flushed my goldfish down the toilet. I thought I was setting him free. Free to swim out into the great wide ocean. My mom was pretty upset and she told me that the toilet water does not, in fact, lead to the ocean. So, I just sat there watching the little gray bug. They are called potato bugs. I don’t know why. I couldn’t resist. I poked him and he curled into a ball. After a minute or two, he opened back up and carried on his way. I wondered where he was headed. Maybe he was going home to his family who lives in a tiny hole in the earth. I wondered what it would be like to be that small. A pine needle would be like a log. A rock, like a mountain. My friend Keegan would have smashed him for sure. He likes to squish bugs to see what’s inside. But I left that bug alone. Instead, I laid down on the mossy ground and imagined life as a bug.

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In Defense of the Grinch

Listen up, people. I’ve got a lot to say to you and not much time to say it, so let’s get started. Most fellas around here just LOATHE the Grinch, at least before his heart had a growth spurt. “Who is he,” they say, “to lie, cheat, and steal, all because he was jealous?” Well, let me ask you this, who are YOU to go hating on him? Sure, maybe dumping all the Whos’ presents off the side of Mt. Crumpit was a bit overkill, but if he could hear the Whos singing all the way from his mountain, I think he had a right to be annoyed, don’t you think? And don’t even get me started on how lonely he must have been. He’s a green, shriveled-up beast who lived right above the happiest town there ever was, and every year a merry festival went on below him while he froze in his cave. Did the Whos ever once invite him? Huh? Did they even care about him before he carved the roast beast? I DON’T THINK SO! With all that said, I hope next time you read “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, you’ll understand his motives. I rest my case.

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Glass Slippers

I recognize you! You’re Prince’s best pair of shoes! I know I look fancy now but you’ll never believe how I got this way. When I started out, I was just an ugly pair of ordinary shoes. The kind of shoes people wear to wash clothes or clean out the fireplace. I was pretty worn out. And then one day, this strange woman appeared. Not a woman, really, more like a fairy. She called herself a Fairy Godmother. So, she comes flying into our room and uses her fairy magic on me. With a few magical words, poof! I’m completely transformed into a pair of sparkling glass slippers for my lady to wear! Crazy, right? She was so excited to try me on. She kept screaming, “I’m going to the ball! I can’t believe I’m going to the ball!” Then that fairy poofed her into this incredible gown and a gorgeous hairdo and then led us outside. Get this! She took a pumpkin from the field and poofed it into a grand carriage! You’d never believe me if I told you who she got to pull it. Anyway, we were swept away to the Royal Ball where my lady danced the night away with a very handsome prince. We had a wonderful time but I sure was tired out. I must have fallen asleep and missed all the excitement because when I awoke, this scary looking lady was trying to cram her giant foot into me. She was no size five, let me tell you. More like an eleven! It was quite painful but, thankfully, the Prince realized that I did not belong to her. He found my lady and he slipped me on her delicate foot with no effort. I really sealed that deal because they were married shortly afterward. If you think about it, they would have never found each other and lived happily ever after if it weren’t for me!